I’M EQUALITY!



Yesterday, the 8^th of March, marked International Women’s Day. The day is celebrated globally to appreciate the social, economic, cultural, and political achievements of women all around the world. This day also calls for accelerating gender parity. The purpose has always been to create a gender-equal world, raising awareness against bias, celebrating woman’s success, and forge women’s empowerment worldwide. The question here arises that are we as women playing our card of “Women’s Rights” the right way or has it become a struggle of gaining dominance rather than of gaining equality?

This day always irks a lot of Pakistani conservatives, every year. I think there is this conservative side in all of us when it comes to women, irrespective of our gender. No matter which stratum we belong to, we will always find someone who would totally or partially be against the concept. It’s not the concept itself but the way it’s projected. You would be very much aware of the slogans that are publicized every year. They are, kind of, not to be absorbed easily even by women, let alone men.

Yes, that is why we all get conservative (under our definition of the word) when it comes to women, be it our daughters or sisters.  Maybe, we always think of them as a being feeble and more vulnerable. And we know our society as well. It’s all about the mindset.

We can’t just stand up and start altering the data that has been fed to us for generations over generations.

You have to move through all the superficial layers to reach the main organ to be treated. Well! Am not blaming any gender here. I have always believed that society thrives when things are done collaboratively and in harmony with one another. Things become easy if people work on the lines – lines drawn by their culture, religion, and society.

Every society has its DNA structure. If that structure is mutilated, deterioration starts and depletes the society of its norms and traditions. It will become toxic, unquestionably.

It is true, men and women are both equal but truer that they are not the same. We often intermingle these two terms, equality and sameness. When women hear men say that women are not the same, they most likely hear that they are not equal, therefore, taking that they are less esteemed. Men, on the other hand, hear from women that they want equality, intermingling the terms again and making the cycle go on, over and over. If we bring religion in here then that also has given both men and women a lot of rights. We instead of fighting over them, should sit and review them. Religion has suppressed none. Find the beauty in which religion has made women empowered and men as caretakers of those women. Exercise your rights the right way. There is no competition out there.

Define what freedom means to you and how your definition accords with your surrounding, then exercise your freedom the way it’s appropriate.

This year’s IWD theme goes with the hashtag “#ChooseToChallenge“. Let’s see what we as women can choose to challenge to carve a passage towards the betterment of our society.

Challenge Stereotypes: Defy stereotypes. They could be anything from “Gol Roti” to “too much educated girls being not suitable for marriages”, from “education is no good for my house help’s daughter” to “a cleaner’s daughter will be a cleaner herself too”. They are a few to name.  What we as women can do is identify these stereotypes and if, for instance, have such stereotypical opinions, work on them. If certain stereotypes are not curbed promptly, they might lead towards the onset of discrimination inside our female community and can deprive other less privileged women of their reserved rights. And the biggest downside, we unintentionally would be promoting a thinking in our children that there are people who are meager or of lesser value than themselves and they can control them. We have to break this cycle before it further destroys the generations to come. Remember! A change always starts within. Challenge your own perception of the stereotypes first before trying to change the society.

Challenge Concepts Of Beauty: Challenge all those beauty standards that promote a narrow and unrealistic vision of beauty and femininity. Unworldly physical ideals can manifest serious mental and physical harm. Love yourself the way you are. Call out body and color shaming when you see it. Rethink your beliefs on what it means to be beautiful.

Challenge Destructive Parenting: Watch how you are raising your kids. Raise your sons wisely and girls smartly. They both should be raised in a way that they make a positive contribution to the world. They should be self-reliant, confident, and independent. They should know “Human” rights are above all, irrespective of gender. They should know how to empathize and be compassionate. Rules for raising both your sons and daughters should be the same. They should know right from their home that they are both equal and well respected so that when they step into the practical world, they already know their domains and boundaries and can let others maintain their boundaries as well. As mothers or as parents, this is the best gift we can give to our children – a good upbringing.

Challenge Dowry System: No matter how hard we try; this evil persists in our society. There are some sectors where it’s totally curbed but there still are sectors where girls still are committing suicide because of the torture and humiliation they receive in the name of dowry.

Challenge Female Fetal Abortion: No, you do not have the right to that. By doing so you are challenging your Creator’s Will. I know that mostly women are forced for the act and as women in our society are not protected much with their rights, they just adhere to their fate. Every soul is unique and beautiful and should be celebrated.

Challenge Harassment: Women always face all kinds of sexist and disrespectful behaviors in both public and private places daily. You can challenge your peers and disrupt this status quo by being an active bystander. If you see harassment, speak up and step up. Do not support stereotypical notions about gender inequality.

Challenge What It Means ‘To Be A Man‘: The concepts on which men of our generation or the generation prior were raised appear quite suppressive to me. “Men do not cry”. I mean, why? They can be expressive with their emotions. “Men can’t do household chores”. Again, why? They are equally capable. “Men can be abusive”. No, challenge this upbringing and raise emotionally sound and independent men. Challenge this ideology that defines what it means to be a man.

Challenge Disrespect: Disrespect should never be welcomed on the grounds of gender bias. Just because you think that “a woman should know her place” or “a woman knows nothing” according to your perspective, doesn’t mean she should be told these words again and again both at home or in a working environment. Disrespectful behavior on gender bias should be challenged, always.

Challenge Inequality In Work Culture: Demand a progressive work environment through equal representation in leadership, equal pay for work, and equal perks. Also, women should not always be the ones to make professional sacrifices to have a family.

Challenge Domestic Abuse: Domestic abuse, be it verbal or physical, is not justifiable at all, come what may. You can never vindicate a person guilty of domestic abuse. Escape as soon as you can.

Here I would like to come towards closure by saying that from challenging comes the change. Challenge and call out gender bias and inequality with an aim of making a change, a change to make our society more progressive. Always keep in mind that women’s progress will drive progress for everyone. We all should play our part in bringing gender parity. Don’t downplay other women, celebrate each other’s successes. You will see the change!

I wish a very happy women’s day to all the beautiful women out there.

~ QuratulAin Hamza