On Lending Yourself to Yourself

Might have heard of the word self-esteem, right? I have, a lot. Since when? I know not. But ever wondered what this word contains? The “esteem” part of self-esteem comes from the Latin verb aestimare, meaning “to value“. Also, this “esteem” part is a verb, and verbs we all know are always the main part of the predicate. One cannot talk of self-esteem without first thinking of self-love. It is a basic understanding, if you do not love or value yourself, you are clearly losing the game of self-esteem. But when your self-esteem meets with your individuality at the crossroad of respect and value, you get self-enriched.

Unfortunately, our society has always equated self-love with egotism, arrogance, boastfulness, and whatnot. Believe me, it is not one of those seven deadly sins; we are made to believe. Just think about it, if one doesn’t maintain healthy self-esteem, his diffidence would never be capable of bringing joy anywhere near him or any relationship he is entitled to. We at the expense of our own well-being and happiness try to make others happy, at all expenses. Don’t you think this diffidence can make us fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies? Well, I do. Because we start believing and ultimately living, the opinions of others. We let other people and their opinions define us. We start overestimating the power of others while underestimating our own. I have learned a very hard way that other peoples’ opinion is not our reality and we should not allow such toxicity to influence our thoughts, actions, and lives. Because when we do, we lose.

I am in no way against the precept of devoting yourself to others, one should, but before that, you should devote yourself to yourself first. You can never spread the enrichment in any relationship if you are not full before sharing. Please! Give ‘You’ to ‘You’ first.

I was having a discussion with my father the other day and he said that to make a shoe shine, you need to have a good shoe brush, and the right amount of force and pressure to make it gleam. With a little extra pressure or force applied; the shoe will start losing its grain. The same goes true for every relation. The equilibrium between self-love and love for others always be maintained for healthy relationships and unions, and healthy relations are not conserved with force but with heart. Compromised self-esteem leaves the gate unlocked for others to boldly trespass your premises again and again (Don’t give the key to that door to anyone, believe you me, it’s agonizing). And then after giving your entirety to a relation, one day you’ll wake up only to be told that all these years and all these efforts of selflessness were worthless. So, for the crux, I will put this proverb down here and would give a closure.