QuratulAin Hamza

Living What Once Intrigued Me…

On my way back home after dropping kids to school

I don’t remember being a talkative person in my life. I have always been like that, quiet, peaceful, and sensitive. I loved contemplating. Putting myself, sometimes, in another’s shoes helped me at predicting others’ feelings and experiences. This part of my personality helped refine my sensitivity, which matured into sensibility with time and made me more empathetic and considerate, which I am glad for. Given my being sensitive to stimuli I liked knowing about feelings that eventually made me less prone to emotional lability and more buoyant towards emotional stability.

Yesterday morning on my way back after dropping my kids at school, I was taken back to the past where the younger me always wanted to know what my mother used to do while we were at school and she had the whole house to herself. Somewhere the little me wanted to have an immersive feel of that. Not that I was in a hurry to grow up. I loved my school, but there was this lingering curiosity just to know how she felt while we were away. How did she spend her time? How she experienced ‘peace and quiet’? Did she love her alone time? Or did she miss us? So many such questions dawdled. So, yesterday was the day this surge from the past paved its way through the sleek passages of time like a fresh morning breeze as if it was just yesterday when I was thinking about that, and today I am practically experiencing it.

Life is an amalgam of so many changes and transitions. Time is ticking, and things change even before we realize it. Things you once just wanted to experience, you don’t know when you start practically experiencing them. Two decades later, I am living what I once was intrigued by. This is life, short yet impactful.

So, now if someone’s wondering what I do while my kids are away at school, I can come up with a new blog post someday, OR someday Waniya might write about it because she asks me often, “What do you do while we are at school?”

Till next time…

Adios!

~ QuratulAin Hamza

5 Practices That Will Make You Mentally Strong

Being mentally strong means you know which parts of your mind you can control, and you control them ably when needed. Instead of letting you sink into the alleys of embarrassment and self-criticism, mental strength redirects your attention towards something productive or diverts your thinking towards something less damaging. Yes, there are facets of your mind that you can’t take control over. And we don’t need to control them either because being mentally strong doesn’t mean that you can exercise complete control over everything going on in your mind.

Many practices can make you mentally strong, but for the start-up, I am mentioning just 5. I call them ‘The Vital 5’. Inculcating them in your daily life is vital and crucially important to help you be mentally strong.

1. DON’T PLAY THE VICTIM

Adversity is inevitable. While facing adversity you should trust that it is not a dead end. Trust always outweighs fear. By not playing the victim you are actually pushing yourself through to the blue skies. Don’t spend your valuable time pitying yourself. Try incorporating gratefulness in your life instead. Grateful people have healthier immune systems and suffer less often from pain caused by adversity.

2. DON’T WORRY ABOUT WHAT THEY SAY

Wanting others to like and respect you is innate, but you can not worry too much about thoughts others hold about you. People will always have different opinions about you. You also carry opinions about others, don’t you? The thing is you should expect and accept that people will have opinions of you and their opinions should not matter to you. What you can do is take control of your own feelings and feel good about yourself. Surround yourself with accepting and supportive people. Find a clan you can mentally connect with.

3. DON’T DWELL ON YOUR PAST

Resist unnecessary mental time travel. You should never dwell on your past but rather reflect on it to learn from it. You should refuse to live a life of regret and let go of the grudges. You should learn from your past and stand responsible for any mistake done because that is what mentally strong people do. You should choose to move forward constructively rather than indulging in reminiscing destructive past.

4. DON’T LET ANYONE PUT YOU DOWN

Being empathetic, compassionate, and kind is one thing, but staying shut when your values and morals get questioned, is another. One should be unafraid to speak up for oneself when it calls. Defending your self-worth should be your utmost priority. No one has the slightest right to insult you. It is one life skill everyone needs to learn.

5. DON’T ENVY OTHER’S SUCCESS

This is the last and the very important one. Although spite and resentment are common human traits, one must learn to overcome this preliminary envy of other people’s success and harness their power instead. There will always be someone better and more accomplished than you. Practice acceptance and acknowledge others’ achievements without passing judgment. People who appreciate and celebrate other people’s success end up creating a positive environment around themselves.

TO SUM UP

A person with good mental strength can consciously choose both their actions and reactions. Being mentally strong helps in leashing destructive impulsiveness. Your mental strength is the ability to control your mind instead of being controlled by it. And it’s a skill anyone can improve with practice.

~ QuratulAin Hamza

The Ray of Hope

They say ‘Hope’ is a powerful emotion. It is that overwhelming sense that everything will work out as it should, even if it doesn’t go as planned. Certain things in life are beyond control, but one can always be buoyant and hopeful.

Our Eid Trip to Pakistan

‘So, when are we flying then?’ I asked.
‘On the 2^nd of May,’ he responded in a casual way.

Life sometimes gives you bolts from the blue. Eid fell in Qatar on the 2^nd of May. We knew little that we would be coincidently traveling that day to Pakistan. Our day started with ‘S’ offering his Eid prayer, which usually commences one and a half hours (more or less) after the Fajr prayer here in Qatar. He came back, had a little sleep, and then off we were to the airport at 11 in the morning. Our flight was at 2 pm, so we had ample time to enjoy our Eid lunch at the airport before we boarded our flight to luckily celebrate yet another Eid day in Pakistan with our loved ones who awaited us.

Nano ka Ghar

(trans: Grandma’s Home)

It was December 2018 when we last visited Pakistan. It was an 18-day holiday, primarily to attend the wedding of my youngest sister. We were all tied up and employed with the engaging chores that all weddings call for. Time went by and we flew back with a heavy heart. Three years and two months later, fate paved our way to Pakistan again (Covid made traveling knotty). It wasn’t planned until my mother fell and fractured her wrist, the cluster of emotions gushed in, and I along with my kids rushed to Pakistan (she is keeping up well now, Alhamdolillah!).

Who Am I…?

Who am I? The question often ascends like a tide in my mind but remains unreturned. If ever I, willingly or unwillingly, try to dive on a quest for my identity, I’ll be at a distant spot still with the lingering query, ‘Who Am I?’

Do you Play Your Words Right?

There is no novelty in me saying that words are very powerful. Likewise, there is no secret too in saying that if words are used correctly, they can uplift, inspire, and nourish souls: but if they spread a streak of negativity, they tend to tear everything apart. Where positive words have a soothing power, negative words have a terrifying one.